Friday is the New Wednesday

Chemo treatments need to be evenly spaced. So Wednesday was our routine chemo day. Over the last few months I noticed a trend within myself. My anxiety would start to rise on Tuesday. I'd be quite restless that night and then very moody, irritable, and anxious on Wednesday. I would try to breathe, relax, let it go. Whatever. It's still scary each week pumping your kid with these toxic "medicines." I don't know that I'll ever be "used to it," but we have decided that we've built a tolerance to it.

I'm not as big of a basket case. I usually can sleep the night before. It helps that Jacob is dealing with it better too. He openly admits that he doesn't love clinic day, but we no longer have to carry him to the car crying. He packs his Nintendo bag, gets his shoes on, collects a snack, etc. He does it all very SLOWLY, stalling like, but he does it.

There's nothing "normal" about the whole routine. I never want it to be normal because then perhaps we aren't taking it as seriously or being as cautious or being as grateful for all the perfect moments in between. I will tolerate that we have to live through this. I will be forever grateful for those friends who have cared week after week. I will be proud of Jacob - his courage, his character, his spirit, and his brave fight. I will continue to cling to my faith and be grateful that I can see the moments more clearly. I'll cherish the strength we've gained as a companionship and as a family. But I won't be grateful for cancer. It will remain my mortal enemy. I will always stand opposed to it. I'll always hope for a cure. I'll always pray that more children, more friends, more mothers or grandfathers will never have to know what it's like to live alongside cancer.

Now our clinic days have been moved to Friday. This made it so our treatments weren't on Christmas Eve or New Years Eve. Jon took Jake to the clinic today. We might actually LIKE Fridays. I don't think they are quite as crowded, maybe that was just this week. They left at 7:15 a.m. and were back around 2:30 p.m. - this was even a Count-Dependant treatment (have to wait for labs to come back to see if counts are up before they can give chemo).

Jacob is off riding his red bike with his red helmet with his red cheeks to match. We sent him out to play and breath some fresh air before the side effects kick in. Which reminds me, when do I need to give him more Zofran? Hopefully the barfing will be mild like last time. Only one more dose of Dactinomycin. The others are just Vincristine.