An Anniversary

Jacob pointed out that along with Christmas Eve we celebrate his 5 month anniversary. It's been 5 months since he had surgery to have his tumor removed. For Jacob, this is when everything began. Going to the doctor, going for an ultrasound, and even going to a second doctor on the same day because he had a tumor wasn't the starting point for him. All of this became VERY serious when he had to have SURGERY. He hated that.

For Jon & I it started on the first day the tumor was found. We worried about everything and tried to keep ourselves away from Google until we knew the exact diagnosis. We held our breath in anticipation for the changes that would surely come that we didn't understand. We waited for insurance approvals and paperwork. We called our families. We cried, we prayed, and we stayed together. Kisses on every head, every night.

Surgery day was a long day. Jacob needed to go fasting, so Jon offered to fast along with him. I didn't agree to those terms because I still needed to produce milk to pump for Jayson. Although, I might as well. I couldn't eat in front of Jacob and I couldn't leave his side. Our children were home with Sharon and Jon & I were with Jacob at the outpatient surgery center.

First we waited in the waiting room wondering why everyone else was there waiting for themselves or a loved one to be cut open. How many of us had tumors? Who needed a knee or shoulder patched up?

When we were brought through the double doors, I immediately noticed a painting hanging on the wall to the left. It was beautiful and prompted a silent prayer. It is by Nathan Greene called Chief of the Medical Staff (click image to learn more).


I really felt that we were placing our son in the Lord's hands. We were at the Adventist Hospital (where health and healing, respecting our bodies, and trusting the Savior are highly valued) with the Mormon doctor. I found great comfort that the Lord would send Dr. Chamberlain - someone who was well trained medically and also blessed with priesthood power. I knew that if anyone could receive heavenly guidance and power beyond his own to heal, it would be our doctor. We had an instant connection and we truly felt his concern for our Jacob. It was another way that the Lord showed Jon & I that he was caring for us and placing people in our path to help us.

Jacob was one of the older patients on the schedule, so his surgery time kept getting delayed. He really wanted to eat, but he tried to distract himself by watching Drake & Josh on tv. We played the dot game, figured out Sudoku puzzles, and rubbed Jacob's back.

Going in to anesthesia, Jacob chose to wear the bubble gum flavored mask to help put him under (the other option was to start an IV and inject him there. He liked the idea of not remembering the needle). Days later Jacob confessed that he was having nightmares that bad guys were trying to smuther him with a mask. It showed me just how scary it all was to him. On his port surgery he opted NOT to wear the mask, but preferred the IV.

Coming out of anesthesia was tough. The nurse had warned me that his emotions would be very raw. She said that she hadn't met a child how didn't cry his way out of anesthesia. I knew that Jacob would have a hard time waking up anyway. He regularly has night terrors and we can never wake him up. So we've seen him crying in his sleep before. This actually helped me to sense when he was really coherent and when he was still under the meds. He did cry with lots of tears. Sobbed with lots heart-tugging sound. He thrashed back and forth and I worried that he would rip the line out of his arm. Raw, tender emotion. Broke my heart to watch him go through it even though he wouldn't remember that part.

He was in pain initially. The meds worked quickly. His hunger returned. We sent the nurse to get the promised Big Stick Popsicle. He loved that. He was thrilled that they had apple juice too. But it was all too much too soon for his system that had just been doused with anesthesia. He threw up everywhere. Bright flying liquid all over him, his gown, the bed. After he was dried and changed, he ate another popsicle. Slower this time.

Jacob walked like a cowboy for a few days, but he didn't slow down. He took it easy for about a day and then he was ready to get back in the game. I worried about all the falls or hits that would be devastating. He wasn't allowed to continue sports or go to his swim lessons. The incision needed 3 weeks to heal before it could be submersed.

We did see a photo of the tumor - about 2-3 cm. It was bumpy almost like a grape cluster. At a follow up visit, Jacob was very interested in seeing the photo. Since then he was wondering if we could get a picture of it to go with all the pics I've been taking.

We went home from surgery day knowing that our boy just had cancer removed. The preliminary sample indicated rhabdomyosarcoma. We had nieve hopes that they could just take it out and we could be finished, maybe just keep an eye on it. But we've learned too much about this cancer. Even when tumors have been completely removed, there's an 80% chance of reocurrance without further treatment. It is standard protocol to undergo chemotherapy. The truth is that nearly all kids with rhabdomyosarcoma also are treated with radiation. There are few exceptions. Jacob's stage, type, and location was one of those exceptions.

Chemo has been hard for Jacob, but what he dreads most is SURGERY. I think that's why he takes such pride in his 5 month Anniversary.